


Love Will Fuck Us Up

by yrmmbggy



Series: The SSB-verse [2]
Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Nathan is an arsehole, Nathan keeps secrets, One sided, Slut Shaming, Unrequited Love, a lot of awkward dialogue sorry, also a lot of italics oops, but when is he not, eejits in love, sister fic, they argue a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yrmmbggy/pseuds/yrmmbggy
Summary: Nathan took great joy in seeing Alisha get (unintentionally, but all the same) dismissed by Simon, and although he did say he would try to ‘do better’ or whatever, he couldn’t help the sick feelings of glee that arose when he realised that Alisha was getting nowhere with Simon.Seducing Simon Bellamy was a game and he was winning.***AKA the sister fic to ‘Seducing Simon Bellamy’





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are two reasons why I’m posting this in separate parts:  
> 1- it was getting really long  
> 2- I haven’t finished it but I didn’t want to leave yous with nothing
> 
> There’s a lot of dialogue in this which, admittedly, I’m not the best at so apologies in advance
> 
> This is basically ‘Seducing Simon Bellamy’ but from Nathan + Simon’s POV, so read that first if you haven’t already 
> 
> Title is from ‘Love will fuck us apart’ by AJJ

Nathan Young was a self described alpha male, a new age Casanova, a sex Jedi master.

Simon just thought he was a whiny prick.

“I’m so fucking hungry man,” he moaned as they walked back into the community centre, litter pickers in hand. Nathan wasn’t lying- the vending machine was broken and he had no money. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday’s breakfast of a packet of malteasers and a mars bar.

Simon rolled his eyes, although he did eye Nathan with slight worry; he did seem a little pale and gaunt. Nathan would argue that it only added to his devilish good looks, but Simon just thought he looked sick. Wrong.

“I’m not joking, Barry. I haven’t had a proper meal since...well I can’t even remember! I might have suck up my pride and go back to my mum’s, like some sort of poor beggar-”  
“Come round mine for dinner!” Simon blurted before he could stop himself. Part of his haste stemmed from genuine concern, part of it from the hope that the other would shut up.

Nathan stilled. The last time someone was this nice to him was when Kelly made him chicken nuggets because she wanted to shag him and, well, he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t want to shag her too. But this was different. This was _Barry_. Sweet, innocent Barry. And what if Nathan found himself starring for a second too long sometimes? Or having to stifle a smile when Simon would let out a chuckle? His libido was probably too high. He didn’t like Barry, that would be laughable.

“Nathan?” Simon said, waving a hand in front of his face, “are you okay?”  
Blinking quickly, Nathan slapped on a smirk.  
“Sure Barry, I’ll come. Is yer mum gonna be around?” He wiggled his eyebrows and Simon walked off, muttering.  
“I regret this already.”

***

“So yer mum isn’t here then. Not even yer dad. Shame.” Nathan sighed as he moved leisurely around Simon’s lounge, brushing his hand over various knick-knacks. Simon wanted to tell him to keep his hands to himself, or to at least take his shoes off, but he bit the inside of his cheek. As much as Nathan got on his nerves, he also yearned to impress him. After the tattoo, Nathan seemed to be friendlier, but Simon had mistaken mockery for friendship before and he wasn’t about to do it again.

“They’re out on business for the next few weeks,” he said instead, “and my sister is at my aunt’s. They...uh...they don’t trust me with her.” He looked anywhere but at Nathan, swallowing a lump in his throat.

After the whole ‘trying to burn down Matt’s house’ incident, Simon’s parents regarded him with wariness and distrust. Anna was the golden child now, not him. Simon adored his sister. Yes, she may have been young and annoying and got on his nerves more often than not but she was also the only one in their family that didn’t judge him or keep him an arm’s length away.

Everyone else treated him like something you wouldn’t touch with a five foot pole. Everyone bar Anna.

“But they trust you with this big ol’ house? They trust a maniac with the tendency to burn down buildings with a house?” Nathan replied incredulously, but as soon as he saw Simon’s clenched jaw and twitchy fingers, he softened.

He felt bad for Simon. He may have been weird, but he wasn’t dangerous, and clearly his parents didn’t give enough of a shit about him to realise this.

“Hey man,” he tried to give a genuine smile and patted Simon on the shoulder, “I’ll make you a cuppa. It’s the least I can do, you cooking me dinner ‘n all.”  
“Oh you don’t have to-“  
“Nonsense!” He grinned, spreading his arms, “I’m an expert tea-maker. My cups of tea are almost as good as my sweet, sweet shagging!”

He humped the air and Simon shook his head, smiling all the same.

That evening, Simon cooked them spagbol while Nathan flicked through tv channels, making comments about all the ‘crap that’s on tv these days’ (“I mean, who even watches Blue Peter anymore?”).

They ate and Nathan complained about Simon’s cooking- though it was the best thing he had eaten in a long while- and then Nathan offered to do the dishes because he actually felt like being helpful for once, and the warm food in his stomach had put him in a good mood. So Nathan washed and Simon dried and the whole thing felt oddly domestic, which maybe should’ve put Nathan off but instead he felt more at ease than he ever had before. Then, as Simon put away the last glass, he said something else that he also would probably regret.  
“Do you want to stay here tonight?”

He looked away quickly, and maybe if he stayed looking at Nathan long enough he would’ve noticed the way his eyes softened.  
“I mean, just because it’s dark and the community centre is a long way away and you could get hurt.”

Nathan agreed, deciding not to bring up the fact that he was immortal and he frequently wandered the streets when he couldn’t sleep at night.

Nathan turned to face the tv and both boys missed they way each other smiled.

At midnight both were buzzed off of Simon’s mother’s prossecco, lying on a pile of blankets and cushions in his lounge watching reruns of Jeremy Kyle. Nathan had suggested they camp out downstairs and Simon- drunk and never having the experience of childhood sleepovers- eagerly agreed.

“Alisha invited me out for a drink tonight.” He spoke up all of a sudden. Nathan tore his eyes away from a chav yelling at her boyfriend and turned his head toward Simon, frowning.  
“What, all of us?”  
Simon shook his head.

Something nasty settled in the pit of Nathan’s stomach. Alisha wasn’t usually the type to form close, personal bonds with people unless she wanted to shag them.  
_Alisha likes Barry._  
He thought about mentioning this to Simon but something stopped him. Maybe if Simon knew that Alisha liked him, then he would hang around with her.  
_What, instead of me?_

He didn’t know why the thought of it made his skin crawl.

It was only later that night, when an unconscious Simon draped his hand across Nathan’s chest and Nathan couldn’t stop himself from grinning in the dark, that it hit him like a truck.

_Oh fuck. I think I fancy Barry._

_***_

A couple days later Shaun had them sorting out clothes for Oxfam or something and Nathan and Kelly, bored of the repetitive job of picking up a garment and throwing it in a box, decided to hold a fashion show to entertain themselves. Kelly had donned a hideous lilac blouse and brown, corduroy skirt whilst Nathan sported a dire yellow dress with layers of frills and puffy sleeves.

“This shit is propa ugly, like.” Kelly said, frowning down at her outfit.  
“Speak for yerself, I think I look fantastic!” Nathan spun around, letting the fabric fan out around his ankles.

Nathan could feel eyes burning into his back and knew immediately it was Simon. Nathan liked attention, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out. If no one was paying attention to him for more than two minutes he felt all itchy and agitated- like he had some sort of attention seeker’s hives or whatever- and would lash out in the most horrible way to get a reaction. If the whole world is a stage then there can only be one show playing: The Nathan Show.

But attention from Simon felt different somehow. Whilst everyone else would feed his ego, attention from Barry seemed to feed his soul.  
_It’s because you have big, gay feelings for him, you eejit._

He pouted his lips and strutted across the room with his hands on his waist, swaying his hips ridiculously. He spun around and caught Alisha staring at Barry. A pang of jealousy shot through him momentarily before being replaced by a feeling of smugness when he noticed that Barry was only focused on him.

Simon’s eyes tracked every shift of fabric, every swing of his hips, every delicate finger stretching towards the ceiling as he hit his mark and posed.

Nathan loved every second of it.

***

Nathan’s mind was only focused on one thing as he slapped some white paint onto a giant blue cock on a wall: Barry’s arm brushing against his.

The fact that he was staring at a drawing of a cock wasn’t helping the filthy thoughts that he had to fight out of his head.

“Nice dick.” Barry said, lips twitching. Nathan let out a surprised chuckle. Was Barry making jokes now?  
“Yeah, I’ve got real blue balls.” He returned and felt a swell of something warm in his chest when Simon laughed. 

Nathan turned his head towards Simon, taking in all his sculpted features. Of course Nathan had noticed that Simon was a handsome fella- he was secure enough in his heterosexuality (or lack there of, he supposed) to admit that- but after this recent revelation, Nathan noticed things he never had before, like how his cold, stare-y eyes were actually really pretty, and how his jawline was so perfect that it sometimes made Nathan’s knees buckle, and his his hair looked really soft and if Nathan could just run his fingers through it-

“What’re you staring at?” Simon frowned, turning to face Nathan.  
“Nothin’ man.”  
He shook his head and grinned and Nathan grinned back and it felt so _nice_. He covered Simon’s nose in paint and Simon covered his cheek and he wanted to touch his fingers to Simon’s jaw when _Alisha_ pushed in between them and a sour taste filled his mouth.

Seeing her so close to Simon (shoving her tits in his face nonetheless, the _slag_ ) made him seethe and _fuck, who knew I was so possessive?_

So he lashed out at her and painted an ‘x’ on her chest and grinned as she walked off in embarrassment. He knew it was spiteful, he knew it was unnecessary, but he couldn’t stand not being in the spotlight. It was like he and Alisha were in a tug-o-war match for Simon’s affection and one of them were going to end up getting hurt. 

Nathan would be damned if it were him.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Simon said, forehead crinkling. Alisha had fucked off at this point and Nathan was still reeling from the confrontation; it felt like he was on a high.

“He’s righ’, ya shouldn’t’ve!” Kelly parroted, slapping him upside the head.

“Ow!” He screeched, “Why are you two so pissed?”  
“It was mean.”  
“Calm down Barry, don’t get yer knickers in a twist, I was only jokin’!”  
“It didn’t feel like a joke to her.”  
“Well if you like her so much, why don’t you marry her!”  
He was ashamed at the playground insult that left his lips, but he was getting too heated to think of something more cutting.

“You’re such a child.”  
Simon shook his head and moved away from him, and Nathan felt his throat close up.  
This isn’t how it was meant to go.

“Nice going, prick.” Curtis sneered, and Nathan just knocked a can of paint over his shoes, before storming off, fumbling with his fag and ignoring Curtis cursing at him.

***

It was 1AM and Nathan couldn’t sleep. He felt like his stomach was infested with bugs and they were crawling up his lungs, out his mouth, in his brain.  
Guilt, he recognised.

He didn’t like feeling guilty, never had. That’s why he had always pushed it away, buried it beneath insults and jokes, distracting himself with the people around him. Except now he was alone with his own thoughts, which was never good, because his thoughts weren’t particularly grand company.

He didn’t feel guilty about Curtis’ shoes, the prick had it coming. He didn’t feel guilty about Alisha either (well, maybe he did, but he’d die before he apologised to her) (and he was immortal) but Simon...  
He was used to Simon walking away from him in annoyance, but only when Nathan had meant for it to happen. This was new- and frankly undesired- territory.

“Fuck this,” Nathan huffed, “the saft prick is ruining my beauty sleep.”

Before long, he found himself outside of Simon’s house. He looked around for something to throw (the stones were too big and he didn’t fancy adding vandalism to his list of criminal offences) before he realised that Simon was the only one in and he rang the doorbell.

Simon answered too quickly for him to have been sleeping.

“Nathan?” He groaned, “what are you doing?”  
“Can I come in?”  
Simon stepped back and Nathan came through the threshold, feeling a rush of familiarity at being back in the warm confides of the Bellamy household.

They sat awkwardly at the kitchen table, before Simon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  
“Why did you turn up to my house at two in the morning, Nathan?”

“I...” Nathan picked at a tear in the tablecloth, trying not to lose his bottle.  
“...came to apologise.”  
Simon blinked slowly and Nathan took this as a cue to continue.  
“I didn’t mean to upset you, Barry. I just kind of do things without thinking most of the time. That’s kind of my thing.”

Simon ran a hand down his face.  
“You’re such a dickhead all of the time, don’t you ever get fed up with it?” He didn’t sound angry, just...tired.

Nathan opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say.  
“I- what do you mean?”  
“I mean that you don’t care about anyone but yourself. You’re always an arse to everyone. Kelly, Alisha...me...”

Nathan swallowed a lump in his throat, seeing the way Simon hung his head in embarrassment. Did he really affect the guy this much?

“I don’t mean to be so...shitty. I don’t recognise, y’know, other people’s feelings until it’s too late. I act on impulse but I- I can do better! I promise, Barry, just give me a chance-“

He shook his head sadly.  
“You always say that Nathan. You promised it to Kelly and now you’re promising it to me, but your promises don’t mean anything anymore.”

He got up to leave but Nathan quickly grabbed his wrist, sending a shock through them both.  
“ _Simon_ ,” he pushed as much emotion as he could into that one word, “I really am sorry. I was being stupid.”

Simon yanked his wrist away, afraid Nathan would feel how fast his pulse was racing.  
“Why have you been so nice to me recently?”

He found himself changing the topic, because truthfully, Simon was having trouble sleeping too. It wasn’t because of the whole Alisha thing either, and although he didn’t like how much of a twat Nathan was to her, Nathan was a twat to everyone. No, the events from the past week had been replaying in his head and it unnerved him, because Nathan was being uncharacteristically nice and Simon couldn’t help but feel he was the butt of some big, elaborate prank.

He had fallen into this trap with Matt and he was frightened it was happening all over again.

“What?” Nathan was taken aback, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. “Simon-“  
“You’ve been nice to me. Why?”  
“Because I like you, you prick!” 

And all of a sudden the cat was out of the bag and Nathan sucked in a breath. There was no going back now.

Simon felt the tips of his ears go red. This wasn’t happening. Nathan had discovered his shameful secret and was taking the piss out of him. Nathan had noticed the soft glances and shy smiles and the way Simon’s heart thrummed like a woodpecker whenever he heard the soft Irish lilt of his voice.

It was happening again. He had been trapped again.

“Y-you don’t like me. People don’t like me.” Simon stuttered, trying his best to build up his defences.

“Christ are you really that dim?” Nathan couldn’t handle it anymore. The floodgates were open and there was no stopping now.  
“I’m head-over-fuckin’-heels you eejit! Every single time you smile I can’t remember my name, I have to catch my fuckin’ breath when you so much as look at me!”

Nathan watched as Simon’s eyes widened in bewilderment but he couldn’t stop. All of these feelings he didn’t know existed came rushing to the surface.

“I have big, stupid, gay feelings for you and I don’t know what to do! I guess the tattoo unearthed some suppressed emotions or whatever, because I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to impress you all the time. Do you think I like feeling like this? It fucking sucks man! But I like you, so deal with it.”

And suddenly he was exhausted. Every single pent up feeling was out into the open. Nathan willed Simon to say something, anything.

“Is this a joke?”

Well, maybe not that.

“Fuck off, Barry, is this a joke? I just poured my bleedin’ heart out ‘ere!”  
Simon still looked unconvinced so Nathan stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, let me prove it to you and take you on a date.”  
“But you haven’t got any money.” Simon said sceptically.  
“Hey, _never_ underestimate my creativity! Now,” he pet Simon on the cheek and grinned, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at eight!”

***

True to his word, Nathan arrived at eight (Simon suspected this was the only time the other had been on time for anything; he was even late to community service despite living in the community centre) wearing his usual ensemble of grey-top-black-jeans and holding a bunch of flowers in one hand and a crate of beer in another.

About two hours previous, Simon had been stressing in his bedroom, a loud and annoying cocktail of ‘what do I wear what do I say is this a joke?’ swirling around in his head before he took a shot of vodka to calm his nerves. Whether it was the fear of being teased by or the visceral need to impress the Irishman was unknown to Simon, but he couldn’t stop the wide grin forming on his face when he saw Nathan at the door.  
He felt like a teenage girl but he couldn’t care less.

Community service had been fairly quiet that day. Nathan would glance over at Simon when he wasn’t looking and vice versa, like a stupid game of back and forth. Nathan was still embarrassed by his sappy confession of love and Simon was still wary of his intentions, though he had to admit, this was perhaps the sincerest he’d ever seen Nathan.

Nathan took great joy in seeing Alisha get (unintentionally, but all the same) dismissed by Simon, and although he did say he would try to ‘do better’ or whatever, he couldn’t help the sick feelings of glee that arose when he realised that Alisha was getting nowhere with Simon.

Seducing Simon Bellamy was a game and he was winning.

He had found himself whistling as he walked, swinging a crate of beer in one hand. He didn’t know what he was more excited about: the fact that he had one-uped Alisha or the fact he had gotten Barry to agree on a date with him.

_I think I need to up the romance a bit_ he had thought, frowning. He had spotted some pink and purple flowers growing in someone’s front garden and yanked them out of the ground quickly, before anyone had noticed.

“Where’d you get the beer?” Simon asked as he shut the door behind him.  
“Community centre has a whole stack of ‘em in the press.” He replied, remembering how he had mastered the art of lock picking the centre’s store cupboard.  
“And the flowers?”  
“Nicked ‘em. From some old bird probably.”

Simon accepted the flowers with a “How romantic” and Nathan responded with a “You know me”, punctuating it with a wink.

They walked along together, not exactly hand in hand but their fingers brushed against each other’s more times to be counted as coincidental. Simon looked down at his flowers fondly; they still had the dirt-covered roots hanging off the ends and some of the petals were missing, but Simon thought they were lovely all the same. He may have said his previous comment with a sarcastic tone, but they were pretty damn romantic.

No one had ever stolen flowers for him before.

Nathan led them past the community centre to a grassy bank overlooking the river. Maybe Simon should’ve been put off by the used condoms and plastic bags floating in the murky water, or the amount of goose shit that he was probably stepping in, but he was focused on the set up in front of him.

Nathan had laid out a picnic blanket, large rocks on the corners to prevent it from blowing away, and three bags from the local chip shop were in the middle.

_This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me_ Simon wanted to say.  
“If you had all of this set up, why didn’t you leave the beer here?” He said instead.

Nathan shrugged, setting the crate down beside him.  
“I wanted to show you how hard I am.”  
He flexed a muscle and Simon laughed and they sat down together, fingers overlapping ever so slightly.

“Where’d you get all this?” Simon asked as Nathan unpacked all the bags.  
“One of my mates from school works at the chip shop. And by ‘mates’ I mean he bullied me and I know he’s shagging his aunt so I threatened to tell his girlfriend.”

Simon’s eyebrows shot up.  
“Oh...wow.”  
“I told you, never underestimate my creativity.”

Nathan gazed up at the sky, wishing for once that they didn’t live in the city so he could impress Barry by pretending to know where various constellations were.  
He then let his eyes wander over to the man next to him, studying his posture. He seemed...relaxed, happy even. It was refreshing seeing Simon when he wasn’t stiff or stoic.

An odd feeling stirred at the base of his stomach, making him feel kind of woozy. For the first time since he met the guy (tattoo episode aside) he wasn’t teasing or mocking Simon, instead Nathan was just sitting back and letting his mushy gay feelings rule his actions. It was unnerving, but seeing the way Barry was all laid back and smiling made it worth it.

“Regale me with a story of your childhood then, Barry.” Nathan said, wiping his hands on his jeans.  
“Dates are all about gettin’ to know one another.”

“Um,” his brow furrowed, “I remember when I was ten and my parents took Anna and I to the seaside and bought us ice cream. I just remember everything being perfect, until they had a fight on the way back about whether my dad was having an affair because he’d gotten a call from a female work colleague.”

There was silence for a moment.  
“And...was he?”  
Simon shrugged.  
“I’m not sure. They didn’t split up over it so...” He sighed and fell back on his elbows.  
“It’s the last time I remember them being...”  
“Engaged in your life?” Nathan supplied, “Not massive cunts?”  
“They’re busy,” Simon defended weakly.  
“Busy being wankers.” He muttered, “Alright, my turn!”

Nathan readied himself, taking a deep breath as if he were about to tell a thrilling tale.  
“I remember, I was only wee- seven I think- and my mum had gone down to do the messages while my dad was at the pub. She couldn’t take me; the last time she tried I threw such a paddy and she was too embarrassed to bring me again, so she got my cousin Aisling to babysit me for a few hours.

Our Aisling is about twelve years older than me mind, but I’ve got a good three or four inches on her now. Her and her missus live up in Milton Keynes I think-“ he stopped himself “-but I’m getting off track here. So, our Aisling was supposed to be watching me, right? But she shoved me in the garden because her mate Alice was comin’ round. Now that I think about it, there was probably a bit of-“ he made a scissoring gesture and raised an eyebrow “-happenin’.

So, I’m out in the garden and I want to climb this big, beautiful tree and I’m climbin’ and climbin’ and suddenly-“ he smacks the palms of his hands together.  
“I end up with a broken arm and this scar right here.”

He lifted up the mop of dark curly locks from his forehead, revealing a slim white scar on his hairline.

The whole time, Simon had been staring at him, entranced, tracking every movement. He leaned into the soft, Irish flow of his voice, succumbing to its intoxication, noticing how Nathan seemed to get lost in his storytelling. Simon wondered idly how fast Nathan’s brain must’ve been going; he had a knack of veering off onto various tangents before his words got all tangled and he had to backtrack.

“Do you always do that?” Simon blurted suddenly, “get distracted, I mean.”

Nathan smirked as he pulled out a packet of fags; Simon shook his head when offered one.

“Yeah, I was always in trouble at school for not finishin’ any of my work. Despite how well-mannered and disciplined I am now, I have to admit I was a problem child.”  
“You? Never.”  
“Alright, you cheeky git!” Nathan gave Simon’s shoulder a small shove.

“Secondary was pretty wank too,” he continued, “I started there just after I moved to England and it was hard, man. I got picked on because I was tall and skinny and had a ‘funny accent’. Eventually, I just started runnin’ my mouth like some sort of BTEC Ricky Gervais, ‘hurt them before they can hurt me.’ That sorta thing.”  
He laughed bitterly and took a drag of the cigarette.  
“I guess I never grew out of it.”

Nathan’s mind was cast back to somewhere it hadn’t been in years, back to scraped knees and stern lectures and snarky retorts. It took all of his efforts not to sink right back into his school days and drown in the not-so-nice memories.

“So,” Nathan said finally, facing Simon, “judging by your general disposition I’m guessing that your school days weren’t all that grand either.”  
And- shit- his fag had burnt down.

Simon chuckled glumly and he told Nathan all about Matt being his only friend, and how one day in year ten Simon had gone to kiss him and how Matt had asked him out on a date and how it all turned out to be one big joke that everyone seemed to be in on except for Simon.

It was silent for a moment, and Simon was worried that he’d over shared and scared Nathan off. However, just as Simon considered getting up and leaving out of shame, he heard the flick of a lighter and Nathan’s voice, muffled by a cigarette between his lips.  
“I guess we’re both a bit fucked, huh?”

The conversation flowed easily after that. In many ways it wasn’t any different to their normal exchanges- Nathan made jokes and called him names- but also it felt completely different; Simon was no longer the butt of the jokes and the names Nathan called him held no malice and instead felt almost affectionate.

It was all going well until S Club 7 casually came up and Simon had mistakenly admitted he hadn’t heard any of their music and Nathan, shocked and concerned (understandably, in Nathan’s opinion) grabbed Simon’s iPod from his hand and proceeded to download every song he could think of.

“You do realise I’m paying for this?” Simon had said in an attempt to protest.  
“I’m paying you back in good taste.” Nathan replied, “and if you don’t listen to everything I just downloaded then you’re an uncultured cocksucker that doesn’t understand art.”  
He handed the iPod back with a smirk.

It was getting late- Nathan guessed it was around midnight, although he was never really good at timekeeping- when Simon let out a yawn next to him.

“Bless,” Nathan had cooed, “guess it’s time to take sleeping beauty back home.”

Simon smiled at him with bleary eyes.  
“Thank you for tonight, Nathan. It was really lovely.”  
“So I didn’t disappoint ya too much?” Nathan said as he cleared up, “didn’t go completely arseways?”

He stopped and wiggled his eyebrows.  
“Or it can still go arseways, if you’d like?”  
At Simon’s panic-stricken face he laughed.  
“Ah don’t fret Barry, I’m only jokin’. I know you aren’t a first date kind of girl.”

At this Simon blushed and, before he could think twice (he’d been acting on impulse a lot lately, hadn’t he?) he caught Nathan’s lips in his tentatively, almost reminiscent of the very first kiss Nathan had given him under the influence of the tattoo: gentle and soft.

True to form, Nathan deepened it like last time, only with a lot less tongue and a lot more feeling.

“We should get going,” Simon breathed against Nathan’s mouth; even as he said it, he didn’t want to move.  
“Mmh,” Nathan agreed, “not yet though.”

They finally walked back to the community centre together, sharing the load of things to carry, holding hands properly this time.

And no one noticed when Simon appeared with Nathan for community service the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya gang. The reason this took so long was because I was thinking about scrapping it, but I couldn’t do that to you lovely people, so here you go.

Kelly was staring at him intensely as they scraped the gum off of the bottom of the bench, and Nathan didn’t like it.

 

“Why’ve ya been so ‘appy recently?”

 

“What?” Nathan feigned confusion as he turned to look at the girl next to him.

 

“Is just...” She grimaced as a piece of gum fell into the bucket in her hand, “you look ‘appier, yeah?”

 

“And you look smaller” Nathan mimed curves in the air with his hands.

“Finally got that boob reduction surgery, then?”

 

“You’re such a dickead!” She smacked him with her scraper.

“I’m jus tryin’ to be nice.”

 

“Well stop askin. And don’t poke around inside my head.” Nathan sneered, rubbing his arm.

As much as he liked Kelly, the last thing he wanted was to accidentally let out his gay little secret; He knew she wasn’t the best at keeping her trap shut.

 

It was hard though, to keep a secret from Kelly, and not just because she was professor-fucking-X. She had these intense, unnerving kind of eyes, like she could stare right into him and unearth all of the gunk and crap he kept hidden away- a bit like Barry in that respect, he supposed. Huh, maybe he had a type.

 

“Fuck off.” She sighed, “wanna go get lunch? I’ve got a fiver for the vendin’ machine.”

 

Nathan shrugged.

“Sure, as long as you’re payin’”

 

Nathan admired Kelly a lot. She didn’t hold grudges but she didn’t allow herself to be pushed around either. She had managed to find the balance between being gentile and being tough, something Nathan sometimes wished he could do. Kelly acted as a motherly figure towards the group and Nathan appreciated that, although it was slightly weird considering he wanted to shag her at one point.

 

Kelly turned and smirked at him.

 

“I thought I told you to stay out of my head!”

 

“Well wiv compliments like tha’...”

 

They had eaten lunch and pissed about- Kelly and Nathan, just like the good old days- and maybe Nathan hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. Everything seemed to be coming together perfectly.

 

Until he saw Alisha and Simon sat together, talking and smiling. He watched from a distance, ignoring Kelly’s questions and scowling, until Simon threw his head back and laughed at something Alisha had said and his stomach plummeted. 

 

She reminded him of some snakes he saw at some zoo his mum took him to when he was four. He doesn’t remember much, just the way that the snake would slither up to its prey quietly, lulling it into a false sense of security before it would devour the thing whole.

 

Yeah, that was definitely the scene happening in front of him.

 

“What’re you two lovebirds up to, eh?” He said, trying to keep the sneer out of his voice as he sat down next to Simon. He silently rejoiced when Alisha scowled.

 

_Keep up darlin’, you’re losing._

_***_

Things developed fairly quickly between him and Barry. They acted normal around their friends- occasionally holding hands under the benches and stealing kisses when no one was looking- but on the evening they would hang out at either Nathan’s or Simon’s, drinking beer and making out. They would sleep over more often than not and Nathan wouldn’t do anything untoward and Simon would wrap his arms around Nathan’s torso and they’d be a happy little couple, except not really, because they weren’t actually boyfriends yet.

 

Simon was ready for it, he reckoned. Naturally the idea scared him a bit at first, because being in a committed relationship was new territory for him, especially a committed relationship with someone that had mercilessly teased him for the first few weeks of their meeting, but eventually Simon stopped thinking about them as _Simon and Nathan_ and started thinking about them as _SimonandNathan_ and that’s what being boyfriends is essentially, isn’t it?

 

Nathan, on the other hand, was terrified. Whenever he had formed a real relationship it always turned to shit. His relationship with his mother, for example, or his father or his brother or, fuck, even Kelly.

 

Nathan couldn’t bear to think about the same thing happening to him and Simon.

 

The only problem was Alisha, who had been developing a tighter grip around Simon as the days passed. Whenever Nathan would manage to pull Simon away or distract him from whatever Alisha was saying, he couldn’t suppress the smug voice in his head telling him that Alisha was falling further and further behind.

***

On the morning after their first proper shag, Nathan woke up in Simon’s bed alone. The soft, blue sheets felt gorgeous on his bare skin and he was about to drift back off when Simon sauntered in, assumingly just coming back from taking a piss.

 

His hair was sticking up in every direction and he was wearing Nathan’s boxer shorts, which were delightfully tight on him, Nathan noticed.

 

_I think I fuckin’ love him._

 

Nathan felt at the floor for something to cover himself with- not that he was worried about his modesty, but he was fucking cold as balls- and pulled up a grey sweatshirt of Simon’s.

 

“Keep it.” Simon said as he pulled it over his head, “I like the fact that you have a piece of me with you all the time.”

 

And keep it he did. He proceeded to wear it to and from community service every day, loving the way the soft fabric hung off his shoulders and swamped his frame, reminding him of a night that Nathan might have described as holy, if he were religious.

 

Simon had wanted to plan everything out whilst Nathan wanted it to be spontaneous, so they met in the middle and decided on a date, but left the when and where up to the heat of the moment.

 

As it turns out, it was Nathan’s obnoxiousness that spurred it to happen, which seemed fitting for them, didn’t it?

 

They had been sitting in Simon’s living room watching a movie that Simon had picked out (“what’s this called again?” “Spiderman”) and Nathan hadn’t been able to sit still. He slid down from the back of the sofa to the ground, before hoisting himself up to drape across of Simon’s lap. It had been at this point when Simon had paused the movie and looked down at Nathan fondly.

 

“Have you ever been tested for ADHD?”

 

“Nope,” Nathan replied, “Why? Do you think I should?”

 

Simon grinned and continued the movie.

“Might be an idea.”

 

Nathan managed to sit still for another ten minutes before he clung onto Simon’s shoulder, begging for a kiss.

 

“Do you ever shut up?” He had laughed.

 

“I can’t help it! Superhero movies aren’t really my thing!”

 

So Simon lipsed him to keep him quiet and then suddenly hands were wandering and movies were forgotten and Nathan moaned “let’s take this upstairs” just as Simon panted “let me get a condom”.

 

Whilst in Simon’s room, Nathan had been shoved against Simon’s anally organised bookshelf which did nothing to suppress his raging boner. Simon nipped his ear as the comic books toppled to the floor.

 

“I haven’t read a comic in years.” Nathan panted as Simon yanked his hair back for better access at his neck.

 

_Jesus, he’s a proper fiend when he gets going._

 

“I kinda miss it...” Nathan trailed off thoughtfully, reminiscing on times before powers and homelessness. He probably shouldn’t be getting distracted, not when Simon was doing _this_ to his neck, but he never claimed he was the most focused man, did he?

 

“Shut up.” Simon growled and Nathan was shot back to the present. He was shocked (and aroused) to see Simon with his jeans discarded.

 

Nathan grinned.

“Yes sir.”

 

Nathan stared now at the man in front of him and idly wondered how he got to be this lucky. If you had told him a few months ago that he would be dating a bloke he would’ve asked you if you had been smoking anything. It’s funny how things turn out.

 

Something was nagging at the back of his mind though. The previous night, whilst they were lying all sweaty and naked wrapped around eachother, Simon had said:

 

“Alisha asked me to take a walk with her earlier.”

 

Nathan gulped. This was really screwing with his post-sex mood.

“And?”

 

“And I said no, obviously. I just thought it was weird. She’s been talking to me a lot more recently.”

 

“Well you’re creeping out of yer little shell aren’t you Barry? People are bound to take more notice.”

 

Simon hummed in reply, and that was the end of that.

***

A week later, Simon approached Nathan with his hands behind his back.

 

“I, uh, have something for you.” He said, before producing a comic.

_Beano_ it said, in bright red letters.

“I remember you saying that you missed reading comic books but I also remember that superheroes don’t really interest you so I thought you might like this.” He rushed and handed the comic to Nathan.

 

Nathan’s fingers trembled as he held it, eyes welling up, a faint memory rising to the surface of his brain.

“Shit man-“ he didn’t expect his voice to break.

 

“Oh no, you don’t like it, do you? I’m sorry, I thought it was a good idea at the time-“

 

“No, no, I _love_ it, it’s just-“ he wiped his nose on his sleeve like a child “- my dad used to buy these for me when I was little. It’s one of the only good memories I have of him. It just makes me miss him a bit, y’know? The way he used to be.”

 

He pulled Simon in for a kiss and Simon pretended he couldn’t taste the salt on his lips.

***

The only thing bothering Nathan was the fact that Alisha wouldn’t leave his B-Word alone, who wasn’t really his B-Word but they sure as hell acted like B-Words and Alisha should just take the hint and fuck off already.

 

But maybe this was Simon’s way of testing him. Maybe Simon kept being friendly with Alisha to send Nathan a message: claim him or piss off. And although Simon didn’t seem the maliciously scheming type, and he was sure Simon was just being friendly because that’s just a Simon thing to do, the thought wouldn’t stop nagging at him all through community service. So when Simon asked him to come over and watch a movie as they were making out against the bathroom sink while the other ASBO degenerates were doing their work outside, Nathan decided it would be then he’d seal the deal.

 

“I’ll ask Alisha if she wants to join too.” Simon said as he ran his hands down Nathan’s chest.

 

Nathan squirmed away from Simon’s touch, plan (and boner) now effectively killed.

“Why? I thought this was meant to be a date!” He whined.

 

Simon shrugged awkwardly. He looked uncomfortable.

“She’s been lonely recently. Ever since she broke up with Curtis...” he trailed off, unsure of how to say his next words.

“Why would I push someone away that’s trying to be friends with me? It’s not like I can afford to do that.”

 

Nathan faltered, conflicted. On the one hand, if Alisha came tonight, she might traffic Simon before Nathan had the chance to claim him as _his_. On the other hand, he didn’t want Simon to feel as if Nathan was some controlling, possessive freak; he knew how much it meant to Barry to be friends with these people, and Nathan would die before he stopped that from happening.

 

“Okay,” Nathan relented, clutching Simon’s hand, “but I get to pick the movie.”

 

“Deal.” Simon grinned.

 

Turns out he didn’t actually have to worry about any of that, as it seemed to be Alisha’s moon day or some shit and she had a hissy fit and stormed out of the locker room when Simon asked her to join them. Nathan couldn’t hide his smile behind his comic.

 

“Aw don’t fret darlin’”.

Nathan was aiming for sincerity. He landed somewhere between teasing and pity.

“You know how girls get when the crimson tide is flowin’. Don’t take it personally.”

 

Simon’s brow was still furrowed but he nodded.

“Yeah...”

 

They ended up watching Final Destination because “it gives me a sense of smug irony. Like, the whole point of the movie is to explain how you can’t cheat death and, here I am, doing it every day!”

 

At Simon’s raised eyebrow and half smile, Nathan rolled his eyes.

“Well, not _every_ day. But you get the point.”

 

They were engrossed in the movie, knees touching. Once upon a time, Simon would have been cringing slightly at the gore, but it turns out that participating in the murder of one probation worker and actively (albeit, accidentally) murdering the second one prepares you for a little blood and guts.

 

Nathan was tense against him; he could tell there was something he wanted to say, but decided not to push.

Eventually, Nathan opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again and spoke.

 

“So...are we boyfriends?”

 

Simon turned his head and thought carefully about his next words.

“Well, do you want to be?”

 

“Would it be gay if I said yes?”

 

Simon grinned.

“A bit, yeah.”

 

“Then yes,” Nathan smiled, “I would love to be your gay, gay boyfriend.”

***

The following day Alisha was acting pissy. Nathan couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt at her sniffles and her bloodshot eyes, and then felt a whole fucktonne at his boyfriend’s concerned glances and anxious brow crinkles.

 

“I don’t understand what I’ve done.” Simon mumbled. They were watching Alisha picking up litter, separate from the rest of the group, going between looking distressed and looking furious.

 

“You’ve done nothing.” Nathan said, with much more certainty than Simon was aware.

 

“I’m going to go over and talk to her.” He said after a beat, which Nathan thought was a momentously bad idea but he needn’t have worried; Alisha stalked away from him and soon as he approached.

 

The subject wasn’t dropped when Nathan returned to the Bellamy household for another night either; slowly his belongings were making their way into Simon’s room and he was spending less and less time at the community centre. It wasn’t an official ‘moving in together’ thing because their relationship was still relatively fresh and Simon’s parents were (unfortunately) going to be returning home at some point, but it was nice to be spending his nights in an actual bed, with his _boyfriend_ no less.

 

“I’m really concerned about Alisha. I don’t know how I’ve upset her, but I want to make it right.”

 

“Stop,” Nathan put the wooden spoon down (yes he was cooking now, god help them) and faced Simon, “you don’t need to make anything right. I’m sure Alisha is just upset about something else-“ he bit the inside of his cheek at the lie “-and it has nothing to do with you, Okay?”

 

Simon nodded though he still looked concerned. Nathan felt sick with guilt.

 

“Hey,” Nathan said softly, “let’s tell them. Tomorrow.”

 

“Hm?” Simon looked up from the pot of Ragu sauce, “tell them...about us?”

 

Nathan nodded somewhat wearily- would Simon find that uncomfortable?- but his heart swelled when he saw the beaming grin break out on Simon’s face.

 

So the next day they bit the bullet and met the group with their hands joined- very discreet, which was uncharted territory for Nathan- and Nathan planted a small kiss on Simon’s cheek.

 

And then Alisha fucking _gasped_ and stumbled backwards like she had just seen the most disgusting display, the dramatic cunt, and stalked off in tears.

 

“I didn’t realise she’d be so offended by our lifestyle.” Nathan said dryly.

 

“It wasn’t that, prick.” Curtis spat. 

 

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

_How would you know?_

 

Simon was frowning though and had released Nathan’s hand to go after her, but Kelly stopped him.

 

“I’ll go after ‘er, alrigh’?”

 

“Guess it wasn’t as much as a shock for you as it was for her?” Nathan asked, turning to Curtis.

 

Curtis laughed.

“Are you joking? Even if Kelly couldn’t read minds we’d know- there’s no subtlety there, like, at all.”

 

“Well clearly we were subtle enough for Alisha.” 

 

“Yeah well...” Curtis drifted off, “I don’t know what’s going on with her recently.”

 

Nathan turned back to his boyfriend only to find him pacing by the opposite wall. As he approached closer, Nathan saw he was worrying his bottom lip and patting his hair down, almost instinctively.

 

“Barry,” Nathan’s voice came out anxious, “why’re you wearing holes in the lino, eh?”

 

“I’ve upset her.” Simon said, voice cracking.

 

It was then that Nathan saw, _really_ saw, how much this was killing Simon. The way he felt responsible for everything that was happening and- fuck. The guilt was pooling in Nathan’s stomach, leaving an acidic taste in his mouth like he had just thrown up.

 

“C’mon Simon,” Nathan led him away from Curtis and down a corridor, “I need to talk to you.”

 

Simon’s eyes were wide with worry. 

“A-are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine!” Nathan quickly reassured, “but... I think I have an explanation. About why Alisha’s been off, I mean.”

 

Simon stared at him expectantly. Nathan repressed the urge to walk away. He was never any good at taking responsibility.

 

“She likes you, Barry. Like, ‘I want to shag you’ likes you and I knew that she had a thing for you so I purposely didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you going off me because you had something better. And then I fucked with her, dragging you away from her, because I liked the fact that you were with _me_ and not _her_.“

 

Simon was quiet. His eyes were boring holes into Nathan’s head.

“How long have you known?” He asked finally.

 

“Remember when she asked you out for a drink the first time?” Nathan said weakly, “since then.”

 

And that’s how Nathan found out what type of angry person Simon was. He wasn’t the loud, violent type like his dad or Kelly, and he wasn’t the exasperated, sorrowful type like his mum, he was the quiet, furious type. The worst type.

 

“So you’ve let me think, this whole time, that it was me that had done something wrong? Worse, even, you let me lead on Alisha, let her feelings get hurt because, what? You’re insecure?”

 

Nathan’s heart seized in his chest as Simon looked at him forlornly. No, worse than that, _disappointedly_. 

He had been given that look so many times by so many people, but not Simon, never Simon. Nathan had fucked up the last good thing in his life for...what? To mess with Alisha’s feelings? Pathetic.

 

“Fuck you.” Simon spat, trembling.

 

“Simon wait!” Nathan tried to clutch on to Simon’s arm as he walked away, “Simon I’m sorry. I really am. I just-– I never think-–!”

 

Simon shook him off and walked away from him.

 

“Well fuck you then!” Nathan yelled at his retreating form, “I don’t need you, you prick!”

 

And that might have been the biggest lie Nathan’s ever told.

***

The following days were agonising for a number of reasons. The first, and most obvious, was the fact that Simon was avoiding him. He could feel the anger vibrating off of him even when they were stood at opposite end of the room and his things had migrated back to the community centre, although one of his t shirts seemed to have gone missing, which made Nathan think that perhaps Simon was taking this break up just as hard as he was.

 

The next reason was the fact that Alisha was alternating between looking miserable and looking furious, which caused Curtis to glare daggers at him because even though he seemed to be shagging that Nikki bird now, he still had this weird, protective streak around Alisha. Nathan supposed he should be offended at the fact that Curtis had automatically assumed it was him who had upset Alisha, but since it was actually true this time, he let it slide. 

 

The third reason was that Kelly had definitely read his mind by now and he couldn’t escape her occasionally pitiful, occasionally scathing looks.

 

He tried desperately to grab Simon’s attention (positive or otherwise) in any way he could- he even got his kit off on the roof again- but Simon wasn’t having it.

 

It was like _he_ was the invisible one.

 

So all in all, community service was just a whole lot shittier now.

 

That is, until, Nathan received a text from Simon out of the blue on the Saturday afternoon.

 

_Meet me here, at 2_ it said, followed by an address.

 

Nathan checked the time, saw it was nearly two, and snubbed his cigarette out on the community centre wall before heading off, nervous about what was to come. There hadn’t been any kisses, so maybe this was it, an official breakup, although Nathan didn’t know why Simon had to drag him to another location. Maybe Simon was planning on murdering him?

 

Nathan’s increasingly morbid and ridiculous thoughts took him all the way to the address, and Nathan saw Simon standing in front of some warehouse or something. He didn’t know whether to lean in for a kiss but before he could decide, Simon silently grabbed him by the hand and led him to a lift, where they travelled down into a large open plan room.

 

Nathan whistled.

“Christ. Who’s gaff is this?”

 

It was filled with furniture and looked lived in. Nathan wondered how Simon had come across it.

 

“It’s our flat. Alisha told me we could have it. It belonged to a friend of hers.”

 

Nathan idly thought about what had happened to said friend, then immediately realised the phrasing: ‘ _our_ flat’.

 

“Does that mean...we’re still boyfriends then?”

 

Simon walked towards him and danced his fingers over Nathan’s.

“Yes, we’re still boyfriends. I’m not just going to bin you off because we have _one_ argument, Nathan.”

 

“You wouldn’t be the first.” Nathan replied wryly.

 

“I was angry, and I feel like I had good reason to be-“

 

Nathan ducked his head, avoiding Simon’s eyes.

 

“- _But_ ,” Simon titled Nathan’s face back toward his, “I shouldn’t have stormed off and I shouldn’t have ignored you.” He sighed, “It was childish on my part. I’m sorry.”

 

Simons fingers felt warm on his face, like if he took them away his skin would be glowing.

 

He did. It wasn’t.

 

“I’m sorry too Barry. That I didn’t tell you about Alisha, I mean. And I don’t say that often-“ he grinned, raising his eyebrows, “-so don’t take it for granted.”

 

“And am I still a prick that you don’t need?”

 

Nathan groaned. This apologising malarkey wasn’t as fun as people made it sound.

“Can’t we let bygones be bygones?”

 

Simon shook his head, lip quirking.

 

“Ugh alright. Yer not a prick and I _do_ need you and I love you and shit, okay?”

 

Simon couldn’t stop the smirk that was forming.

“You love me?”

 

“Was that the wrong thing to say?” Nathan winced.

 

Simon shook his head, grinning widely.

“Absolutely not. I love you too.”

 

He tilted his head down so his lips met Simon’s. A content sigh escaped his mouth.

 

“Kelly invited everyone out tonight. To a new bar that’s just opened.” Simon whispered breathlessly as he pulled away and rested his forehead against Nathan’s.

“That would be the perfect opportunity for you to apologise to Alisha.”

 

“You little devil!” Nathan screeched and pulled away. Simon winced at the sudden loud noise.

“Was this your plan all along? Butter me up and make me think we’re about to have sex just so you can get me to talk to your girlfriend?”

 

Then Simon gave him a _look_ , the type of look that only his mum had ever given him, and his resolve crumbled.

“Fine, yes, _of course_ I’ll apologise to Alisha. Jesus, Barry, one more month with you and I’ll start rescuing orphans from fires and helping little old ladies across the road.”

 

“You do remember I’ve killed someone, right?”

 

“Ah, Barry, we all have our weird little quirks. Now, how about we christen this apartment?”

***

The bar Kelly had dragged them to was some sort of cheap, English imitation of an Irish pub. The music so far had been exclusively U2, Westlife and Snow Patrol and the coasters had little green shamrocks on them. Nathan wanted to bang his head against the wall.

 

“How dare you insult my race like this!”  He yelled over some burly bloke singing _Come on Eileen_ on the karaoke machine.

 

“Oh fuck off!” Kelly fired back over the rim of the glass, “I bet ya don’t even remembah Ireland! You moved when you were, wha’? Six?”

 

“Eight.” Nathan corrected, “but thank you for knowing so much about me.”

 

“Well maybe,” Curtis interjected, “if you told us something about you that wasn’t total bullshit we’d know more about you.”

 

“I always tell the truth!” Nathan replied indignantly.

 

“Go on then,” Alisha said, “tell us something true about you.”

 

Nathan tapped his finger on his chin thoughtfully.

“Okay. When I was ten I used to dress up in my mum’s pinny and prance around the kitchen like I was Polly from Fawlty Towers.”

 

“Oh my god!” Alisha laughed, “what a weirdo!”

 

Curtis snorted and swallowed his beer abruptly.

“Wow, that explains a lot.”

 

Kelly nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, really does.”

 

“Hold on!” Nathan lurched forwards in protest, knocking Simon in the process and causing him to spill his lager down his front.

“You’re telling me that _that_  is more believable than when I told you I shagged three girls in the disabled’s at Thorpe Park?”

 

A chorus of “ _obviously”, “of course”_ and _“yeah, mate”_ ‘s followed.

 

“Barry! Did you hear that!” Nathan twisted his body until he was facing Simon.

“I’m wounded!”

 

Simon chuckled into his beer.

“Well, it _is_ more believable.”

 

“Now why would you say something like that? That’s very hurtful!” He turned to the rest of the group, “you lot carry on with yer polygamy then. Didn’t realise tonight was ‘take the piss out of Nathan’ night.”

 

Simon wrapped his arm around Nathan’s waist.

“I’ll buy you a drink as an apology.”

 

Nathan sighed.

“It’s a good job you’re pretty.”

 

He pecked Simon on the lips and turned back to the group, only to find Alisha looking at the pair with glassy eyes.

 

“I’m going to get a drink.” she said and stood up before Nathan got a chance to speak.

 

Simon gestured with his head.

_Now’s your chance_.

 

Nathan sighed and followed Alisha to the bar, but not before he begged Simon into lending him some cash.

 

“What’ll you have?” Nathan asked as he approached her. She turned to look at him witheringly.

 

“Vodka and coke.”

 

Nathan ordered for them and the pair stood in silence until their drinks came. Nathan payed for them both with his borrowed cash.

 

“Not trying to seduce me, are you?” Alisha said, stirring her drink around with her straw.

 

“Nah.” Nathan took a gulp of beer, “yer nice to look at ‘n all, but not as pretty as Barry. It’s Simon’s money anyway, so just think of this as a nice gesture.”

 

There was a beat of silence. Suddenly, Nathan became very interested in the cord of his hoodie.

 

“I wanted to apologise, basically. Barry... he had no idea that you liked him and I purposely didn’t tell him just to mess with you. I’m sorry.”

 

Alisha laughed bitterly.

“Yeah, I figured.”

 

Another beat.

 

“I was-“ _insecure, you were insecure you wanker_ “-worried that if he knew that you liked him he would be with you instead.”

 

Alisha nodded glumly, staring down at the drink in front of her. She hadn’t had any yet.

 

“Believe me, I’ve felt that plenty.”

 

Beat.

 

“I’ve never really...thought about other people. I just _do_. Maybe being with Simon... maybe that will change.”

 

Alisha was fiddling with the hem of her skirt. Her voice was thick.

 

“Yeah. I get what you mean.”

 

And maybe the two knew that they were more alike than they thought, but neither would admit it.

 

Beat.

 

“To Simon.” Alisha said, lifting her drink slightly. Nathan clinked his glass against hers.

 

“To Simon.”


End file.
